Can't Seem to Learn

Even the most sunny mornings

Always have to fade to darkness

And never still did I stop my mournings

Now and forever stuck in a performance

The beaming stage lights

Always directed towards you

They made you shine so brightly

A burning sun I didn’t mind staring into

I knew the spotlights blinded me 

From seeing how you truly danced

And yet I still never learned

And yet I was still entranced

Did it feel good when you tainted poison in your whispers?

When you laced my ribbon with twine?

Does it bring you joy to know that to me you were an idol 

While to you I was only leisurely time?

It was all just a show for your own entertainment 

One that I’ll continue to watch

You were such a good actor, oh so convincing 

With every line, I was stuck there believing 

Yet my mind still wanders back to that first play

That fire in your hand felt so warm 

Until it burned 

The softness in your tone

It was comfort until it turned to stone

And maybe I just miss our duets 

So focused on finally being complete

So much that the partner was unimportant

No matter how much they stepped on my feet

Now when I look to the crowd

Critics and fans look one in the same 

Attention was attention

Fame was fame

I threw yellow flowers to the stage and clapped

You sent wilted black roses back

And not even purple hyacinths could make them smell more sweet

But I would still keep them in a handmade vase

In the sun beside the other bouquets

And even still I’ll never learn

Because maybe I don’t want to learn.